Nobody Is Perfect

Good afternoon and welcome back to this afternoon's blog. Some of you might have been expecting a football blog today, however, due to the international break, I thought I would give you something with a bit more substance. Before I begin, I want to thank Shan for her incredible article on Monday about mental wellbeing during the current pandemic. There were some highly inspirational words that we can all live by during these difficult times. If you show it enough support then I might even ask Shan to come back for a part 2? For today's topic, I wanted to do a follow-up to Chloe Johnson's amazing guest article which she wrote about how the impact of social media affects the way we all see ourselves, and the way we all strive to match the 'perfection' of models with the help of Instagram filters. As Chloe made the point of saying, these are not real. But our mind does not know this and always tells us that we must improve, even when there is nothing wrong with us. So without further ado, nobody is perfect...

The funny thing about social media is that from the millions of posts made every day across Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and all the other platforms, only a miniscule percentage are actually perceived as 'perfect'. The definition of 'perfection', however, is open to interpretation based upon what we see as our weaknesses and imperfections. Not everyone will want to look the same and not everyone will feel the need to change. The power of social media, especially on the younger generation, is borderline toxic and harmful. Unfortunately, a recent study showed a sharp increase over the past 12 months of suicide rates within the younger population. I have zero doubt that Instagram filters, photoshop and other editing apps are a major factor in this statistic, when really it is just a part of life.

Psychology Today writer, Jennifer Kunst, wrote a very good piece on this topic. This is an extract from that article which I feel is particularly important:

"How many of us have imagined that if we were better looking, we would be happier? Perhaps for you it would be smarter, stronger, richer, funnier, or thinner. The pursuit of perfection can get pretty subtle and unnerving in therapy, too, especially a long-term therapy like psychoanalysis. It’s easy to get drawn into a misguided effort to become a perfectly functioning adult: always knowing the right thing to say, never getting our feathers ruffled, easily finding an ideal work-life balance, and never ever again getting drawn into our old worries, preoccupations, bitterness, or conflicts. Both on and off the couch, I have shed my share of tears anguishing over my imperfections and wanting so much to overcome them, to be done with them, frankly, to get rid of them."

I have also been asking other people what their takes are about the way we try and look the best we can, and also the imperfections and weaknesses we have and how we can overcome these feelings:

"Imperfections are your perception and will alter between person to person. If you asked me what mine were and asked someone else, they'd be different. Is perfection being flawless or is it having the right attitude and ethic to work to be perfect> If you reach perfection you're not happy but the state of reaching perfection you are." - Dani

"If you can admit your faults and know what you need to work on there's nothing more to be said. Then they can't be used against you." - Vicky

I especially want to pick up on a point that Vicky makes - admit your faults and work on them. It shouldn't matter whether other people believe we have faults because they are not the ones in control of our lives. We are the only ones who have the power to make a change and learn those lessons. There will be some people who only see the faults in themselves whereas others will only see the things they are good at. If you fall into the first category, ask your friends and family to point out what you are good at. This is a good starting point - work on these things and use them to develop. If you are generally a positive person and feel you have no faults and are 'perfect', then I would say this is a strength in itself. Be confident with who you are and put the feelings of others under the carpet. Be weary of this, however, as there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance.

We all have to change sometimes, but these changes can be good and bad and we have to realise that. I won't go into too much detail about change as that is the title for Monday's blog. What I will say, however, is that Instagram is a lie. I am just as guilty of this as anyone else but have a strong support bubble around me who I can always turn to in difficult times. This is key to getting through difficult and unprecedented times (if I had a pound for every time I have heard that recently)…

Stay safe, enjoy the weekend and I will see you on Monday for 'Change'. And once again please show Shan some love for Monday's guest article, and check out Chloe's article 'The Power of Posing' which inspired this article.

Connor

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