I Did Something Bad

Good afternoon and welcome back to this afternoon's blog. I am mightily relieved that this week is drawing to a close as it has been one of stress, high emotions and destruction in so many ways. It's actually very disappointing as today just happens to be my 25th birthday (I can hear you all singing and cheering for me) and we are approaching Christmas in the not too distant future. However, life is unfortunately not all plain sailing and things do happen. Covid, for example, is something that nobody would ever have expected when they were celebrating the New Year back in January. And sometimes people get events happen to them that they do not deserve because they have done nothing wrong. Sadly, some people (me) get exactly what they deserve.

I can tell you're all desperate to hear this enthralling-sounding story. Well here it is. A seemingly usual evening with a completely innocent conversation between a tight-knit group of friends. Everyone is trying to help and offer advice to make one's life as good as it can be. Unfortunately, one comment said in a moment of self-frustration and anger left friends feeling deeply hurt and understandably upset. Let's just say that sometimes people need some time to heal themselves, but more importantly respecting the needs of other people to move on. I am really sorry if you were expecting a story full of juicy detail, but honestly I don't think that would be appropriate or respectful to the individuals involved.

Rather than analysing what was done wrong or what could have been done better, I prefer (as always) to focus on the mental elements of rocky friendships and fall-outs. First and foremost, it hurts. And when you have caused it there's even more hurt. There's two possible ways in which we can move forward. We can let ourselves get depressed, stress about what we have done and accept that we have lost people we care about forever. Alternatively, we can learn from our mistakes, take some time to allow everyone to heal and believe that we can make amends and take steps towards doing this. Whilst both options are possibilities, it takes a very strong mind to move on and believe that things are fixable.

Let's flip this on it's head and look at those who are feeling the hurt. It is not a nice feeling and this is something that it is so important to realise. They will more than likely be disappointed, saddened and even surprised, especially if you feel you are close. However, everyone handles things in a different way. There's people who like to talk about how they are feeling, those who need time to process their thoughts, while some people prefer to talk directly to whoever has hurt them. The most important thing is to respect the fact that people handle things differently. If people need a month or more, give it to them. If someone wants to call you to express their feelings, let them. Do not ever beg with people for forgiveness or force someone to like you again. Just like a cut on your knee, feelings and emotions need time to heal.

The main message I want you to take away from this article is that we are only human. Whether we are rich or poor, male or female, or whatever our religious beliefs are, nobody is or will ever be perfect. We learn in life. That line your teachers gave you at school "you learn from making mistakes" is so true in every single aspect of living. Nobody should ever be angry because you make a mistake. People should only be angry if you make no attempt to rectify them. I have spoken about second chances previously on this page because it is so important. Even if you do something terrible to a friend, you can always hope (realistically or not) that one day amends can be made. And if for whatever reason they can't, well, you can only blame yourself, move on and learn another lesson. 

Before I go off and celebrate my quarter of a century of this Earth (I'm still a baby really), let's play a game. Spot the Taylor reference!

Enjoy your weekend.

Connor

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