Knock Anxiety Out Forever

Good afternoon and welcome back to this afternoon's blog. As we begin to move towards the end of the first month of the year, the pandemic situation is still showing no signs of easing. The vaccine rollout, however, does offer that glimmer of hope that we have to hold on to. It is far too easy to let ourselves slide into a mindset of panic, negativity and anxiety - but why? We know that this pandemic will come to an end and that our lives will go back to normal. Every day that passes means we are a day nearer to returning to that. In the meantime, we need to deliver anxiety that knockout blow and allow happiness, positivity and a brighter outlook to flood into our veins. It sounds easy, but how easy is it to apply to our everyday lives?

During a non-pandemic life, we all have routines, schedules, timetables and deadlines that we have to stick to. We all have our normal working hours, our hobbies and the times we meet friends for the weekly catch-up down the local pub. Routine is your friend. And it is easy to do. While there will always be the possibility for variation at short notice, we can structure our days the way we would do normally. For those of us who are still working, this should appear quite naturally anyway. Unfortunately, there are millions of people who are unable to work at the moment; think what you would be doing normally. Maybe setting your alarm for the same time, or going for a walk the same time every day, or eating you meals at the same times - routine is routine no matter how basic or simplified it seems. Once you have found something that works, don't change it.

Before you can even begin to put anxiety away, you need to realise that you are anxious, and more importantly why you feel that way. Granted the 'why' part may seem blatantly obvious under the current climate, but you must still understand this. Anxiety can slowly creep into our minds and experiences without initially drawing attention to itself. Therefore, making friends and getting that mutual understanding with your feelings and emotions is key. While Covid is everyone's enemy, anxiety is yours and yours only. Just like the scientists and medical experts are trying to do at the moment - if you don't fully understand your enemy then you are unable to defeat it.

Now I'm going to add a disclaimer at this point - I am not a breathing expert. But I know for sure that it works. You need to be able to control your breathing, but more importantly, know when it is controlling you. Often when we are in an anxiety attack, we automatically breathe more heavily, more rapidly and allow our emotions to force through. This will not help anyone. Slow, deep, controlled breathing will immediately begin to relax you and give you a sense of calm and self-respect. It is never easy realising when we have to focus on our breathing, but as a general rule do so when you are feeling stressed about something that is happening or is about to happen. Leave the past behind you - nobody can change this.

Quite often, anxiety can take over us when we are unable to find a resolution to a conflict or a problem. This can range from not knowing how, not wanting to because you feel uncomfortable, or simply not having the experience to do so. However, ignoring the problem will not help; it will grow bigger and become more of an issue, in turn increasing your anxiety levels. You need to be strong and determined to find a solution, no matter how difficult it appears or how much you find it draining. It is always better to face the feelings of discomfort on a short-term basis in order to achieve long-term happiness and control over your life. It is your life after all.

Now I don't want to come across as stating the obvious here, but give yourself time to relax. It is important to realise that this will not necessarily cure your anxiety by making all the negative feelings disappear, but instead it will provide a temporary relief where we can be by ourselves and do what makes us calm. Try sitting in a relaxed position and letting your muscles rest. Once you have achieved this, switch off your mind completely and clear your head of everything except essential thoughts. Achieve the feeling that your whole body weighs no more than a feather and you are slowly drifting through space, moving whichever way the wind will take you.

Sometimes, no matter how hard we try or how determined we are, it is just not meant to be. In these situations, we will often find ourselves asking questions along the lines of "What could I have done differently?" or "Why have I allowed that to happen?" The truth is that these thoughts will only eat us alive. Accepting a failure and having the strength to move on from that is what will define us. And just because one thing has gone wrong  does not mean that everything will go wrong. We should flip this on it's head - we have an opportunity to do something good and put things right. We have a chance to show what we are capable of and how we can learn and bounce back. Allow a failure to be a failure and an anxiety episode to be an anxiety episode. Accept what happens and move on. 

My final 'tip' if that's what you want to call them (as I said before, this is not my area of expertise), is to find something that distracts you, even if only for a few minutes. Fill your head with positive thoughts and happiness to provide at least a brief relief for you (I'm a poet and I didn't even know it)! This is particularly useful for those situations I mentioned above - there is no solution of you have no control. The choice of distraction is very personal, but it should be something that you enjoy and something that takes no or very little effort. Listening to music, reading a book, going for a walk or calling a friend are just a few examples that I find useful. Let me know in the comments below how you distract yourself from periods of anxiety.

We all wish anxiety was easier to remove from our lives; unfortunately it takes an awful lot of hard work. Most people are afraid of self-discipline and going the extra mile when they really do not want to. You can achieve self-discipline by getting your head around the strategies listed above. This is a slow and at times a painful process, but start off with small, realistic and achievable targets. Look for one day anxiety-free each week. Then increase this to two days and then three days. Then go for one week in every month. When you are feeling in control of your feelings, build up to chunks of time - be it a few days or weeks or months. Manage your anxiety step by step and I guarantee you will feel so much better for it.

Connor

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